omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize