4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
