two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
