so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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