Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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