so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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