That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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