new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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