This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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