So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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