Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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