...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize