i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize