It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
