Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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