if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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