Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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