just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
