We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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