My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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