I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
