hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
