Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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