i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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