Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
