Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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