You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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