he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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