You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
