The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
