My room smells like vodka and shame
i barfeds in our rink
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
