She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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