I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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