I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
