How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
