Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I am spending my child support on dildos
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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