Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
