I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
