I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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