I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
