I need help removing her.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
