I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
