Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize