..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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