It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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