ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
They took my balls.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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