I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
