weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
