Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
