u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
