Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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