dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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