hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am one with the molecules
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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