I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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