He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We just shotgunned beers for America
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
