Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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