Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I want to fling myself into the sun
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
