I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
