Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
