And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
