Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
