some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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