She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
