Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
