There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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