Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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