Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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