Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
