I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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