you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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