Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
