I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
