if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
