Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
